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When is it toooo clever?

When is it toooo clever?

Clear vs. Clever: The famous copywriting dilemma

Joe Portsmouth
August 09, 2023

Welcome to the 29th issue of Write On!

The newsletter that’s desperately hanging on to its late 20s (been there my friend 🥲).

Estimated read time: 2 minutes 54 seconds

Monk Mode Results:

I'm going into monk mode this weekend.
• Gf is out of town.
• No plans.
Just two days of intense focus building my course.
Goal is to have the MVP done and ready to show to beta students.
Might be a stretch. But we'll see.
ready. set. go.
— Joe Portsmouth 🧲 (@joe_portsmouth)
Aug 5, 2023

Monk Mode Weekend is in the books. Final results:

80 slides of content ✅
50% of the video recordings ✅
5 notion workbook resources ✅
300+ practice golf swings ✅
2 meals including pizza ✅
3.5 mile run ✅

Not too shabby.

I’m hoping to wrap up the final video recordings and get everything set up in Kajabi by the end of this week.

Then shipping it off to the giveaway winners to get roasted for initial feedback.

Also, I’ll be sending out the final outline of the course to the waitlist this Sunday! 👀

If you want a sneak peek…

315+ Write On readers are on the waitlist to become a better storyteller so they can sell more online. Consider joining them because you’ll get:

Early access to the course launch
Sneak peeks into the course
Exclusive pricing

Just click the button below 👇

Top Finds This Week:

📖 Storytelling: A quick infographic with 7 copywriting tips to help you write engaging stories: (link)

🧠 Psychology: People will buy when they have an urgent need, right? Wrong. Don’t forget this key psychological principle: (link)

✍️ Write On: Who knew 19-year old Muhammad Ali 🥊 🐐 knew a thing or two about copywriting?! (link)

🗞 Newsletters: My newsletter makes $1,300+ per month just by getting new email subscribers. It’s because of Sparkloop’s Upscribe recommendation feature — a no-brainer to turn on for a newsletter of any size. Get started for free here: (link)

Genius or Too Clever?

One of your fellow Write On subscribers shared this ad with me over the weekend, and it got me thinking…

What is the line between marketing genius and trying to be too clever?

Here’s the ad in question:

I had some initial thoughts but was curious what others on Twitter and LinkedIn would say.

So I posted on both platforms asking: “What would you rate this Patagonia ad on a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the best)?”

It was pretty funny to see how different the reactions were by platform.

LinkedIn was overwhelmingly positive with a lot of 10s given out.

Twitter was much more pessimistic (with some positive reviews sprinkled in).

Let’s break down this ad together and see where we net out:

Category #1: Creativity

The creativity for this ad is off the charts - no doubt.

I couldn’t help but think: “Wow, that’s unique.”

That’s a feeling people won’t forget. The wow-factor.

But that’s only if they read the whole ad.

Which brings us to category #2…

Category #2: Clarity

I don’t know about you, but I had to reread this ad a few times before it fully registered.

That could be a good or bad thing depending on how you look at it.

Good - because it’s really forcing the reader to think and absorb what is being said in the ad.

Bad - because it probably loses a lot of people’s attention by being too complex to understand.

It basically reads like a long, run-on sentence. Not ideal.

So we’ve got mixed reviews on clarity.

On to the final category…

Category #3: Feeling

Like I mentioned earlier, the feedback was mixed on Twitter vs. LinkedIn.

Some loved it. Some hated it.

And I think that’s a great thing.

Because that’s a sign that Patagonia took a stance.

Not necessarily with the message (although they are speaking in an authoritative tone). But because they made people pick a side.

This is either for you, or it’s not.

If you read the ad, like the creativity, and resonate with the message, there’s a good chance you become an instant fan of Patagonia.

Because this is a campaign that shows the reader that Patagonia is way more than just an outdoor clothing brand.

That’s meaningful.

FInal Overall Score: 8/10

💡 Bottom line: There is a line between clear and clever when it comes to copywriting. I aim for the “clear” side 95% of the time. Doesn’t mean you can’t test something outside of the box now and then.

That’s all for this week. Thanks for reading.

See you next Wednesday!

Joe

P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here’re three ways I can help you:

Facts tell. Stories Sell. Use storytelling in your copywriting to grow your business. Get early access to my new course: The Storywriting Playbook (👉Add me to the waitlist!)
Write On ad slots open back up in October. Lock in a discounted ad slot now while the newsletter continues to grow ~1,000+ subs per week (👉Grab an ad slot)
Keep your writing sharp all year round and enjoy free lifetime access to my collection of Write On copywriting guides (👉View all guides)