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Sexy sentence structure boosts copywriting conversions

Get up to 127.5% higher click-through rates.

Welcome to the 48th issue of Write On!

The newsletter that has been going around calling everybody “chef” since I started watching the TV Show, The Bear.

In today’s issue I’ll be covering:

  • How to streamline your business with HoneyBook

  • How sexy sentence structure boosts copywriting conversions

  • Top finds this week, including a simple writing hack to instantly improve your hooks (it’s silly how easy this one is)

Estimated read time: 2 minutes 2 seconds

Streamline your business with HoneyBook:

Unlock the full potential of your business with HoneyBook:

  • Streamline lead onboarding

  • Seamlessly manage diverse projects

  • Easily handle payments

  • Fortify client retention effortlessly

With HoneyBook, your everyday work transforms, making your workflow more efficient and client-centric.

“Use surprising words and sentence structure to make your messages more effective.”

I was going through my inbox yesterday catching up on some emails that I had marked as “read later.”

My inbox is OVERFLOWING with newsletters that I’m subscribed to.

I’m glad I ended up doing this end of year cleaning because I stumbled on a gem from Ariyh.

“Ariyh” stands for “Academic Research In Your Hands.”

(I’ve been subscribed to Ariyh for about a year and only realized this recently)

Basically, it’s the perfect newsletter for marketers to reference when they want to back up their big marketing ideas with cold, hard facts.

Anyway… let’s get to the copywriting tip.

The takeaway from this issue of Ariyh was that “(mildly) surprising copy converts better.”

For example, let’s look at these two sentences:

“Uber Eats delivers a delicious meal to your door”

vs

“A delicious meal at your door, by Uber Eats”

These sentences are saying the same thing in a slightly different way.

The catch is that the second sentence uses a less predictable order and combination of words. So people pay more attention to it.

The data from the study backs this claim up 👇

Okay, great. We know that “slightly surprising” copy can boost conversions.

But how do we know whether a sentence is slightly surprising?

Luckily, the research team that discovered these insights also built a free calculator that analyzes your sentences and gives them a “surprise” score.

You can try it out below (it’s pretty awesome) 👇

I used this calculator to come up with the subject line of today’s newsletter (results below):

It took me a few attempts to get down to this “effective range of surprise” (see previous attempts below). So the exercise really pushed me to come up with a higher-quality sentence!

💥 How to take action: Play around with the surprise calculator and delight your readers with sexy sentence structure.

P.S. You can read the full breakdown from Ariyh, here. I highly recommend subscribing to their newsletter. It’s one of my favorites!

Top Finds This Week:

📖 Storytelling: The one thing most people get terribly wrong when it comes to storytelling: (link)

💪 Writing Exercise: Try this simple writing hack to instantly improve your hooks (it’s silly how easy this one is): (link)

🖼 Frameworks: Bookmark this quick cheatsheet of 6 copywriting frameworks: (link)

📜 Principles: These 3 hooks generated 1.4 million impressions on LinkedIn. Study this breakdown of why they worked and how to implement in your writing: (link)

✍️ Write On: 8 common customer objections (and how to crush them to get the sale): (link)

That’s all for this week! See you next Wednesday.

Cheers,

Joe profile picture

P.S. Meme for your thoughts?

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